Her is the latest in what has been a promising move towards inclusion in online dating apps. Mainstream dating sites like Zoosk and OK Cupid have arguably gone a long way in creating space for queer folks, offering a variegated field options of representation that gives queer folks the opportunity to be who they are and find like partners. Most popular dating apps such as Her, Fem, and even Bumble, meanwhile, have been putting their own female-centric spin on a platform that has often been dominated, or at least geared towards hetero men. If you’re a queer, bi, or lesbian woman, this is a good sign.
Whether you’re looking for a long-term connection, a casual hookup, or something in between, the range of online dating options for queer women has expanded and so too, we hope, has the sense of comfort and success. Below is a look at dating sites and apps that either cater to or make plenty of space for lesbian, bi, and queer women to find what they’re looking for without compromise.
Best for: queer dating with a side of community
- Recommended age: 25-40
- Signup time: 10 minutes
- Smart mobile app
You get the feeling that the founders of Her have had some experience trying to find queer women on general dating sites. Everything about this women-only app seems to be an answer to the hassles, struggles, or just plain annoyances queer women face when navigating the larger online dating world. And they seem to have struck a chord, as more than 3 million queer women have jumped on board.;
Her is a dating app created by queer women for queer women. But it’s more than your typical dating or hookup app. Yes, the swipe format resembles that of Tinder or Bumble. But aside from the usual dating features, Her includes a wide swathe of community-oriented features such as in-app communities, social-media-style newsfeeds, and icebreakers.;
Her is free to use, though there is a paid subscription called Her Premium with additional benefits. These include unlimited swipes, premium filters, read receipts, and access to Her’s newsletter.
Best for: lesbian singles looking for a relationship;
1+ million LGBT members searching daily
Recommended age: 25-45
Signup time: 15 minutes
Start using Zoosk for free
System learns your preferences
Sleek mobile app
Zoosk is a well-known name on the online dating scene. It has over 1 million gay and lesbian daily users, so you know you’re going to have plenty of potential matches who are looking for the same thing you are (and not those women who are “experimenting” or think they want something they really don't).
Something else that’s encouraging for lesbian love-seekers is the signup process. First of all, it’s fast. Who really has time to sit and fill out loads of profile info? Plus, Zoosk’s behavioral matchmaking system means it learns your likes and dislikes based on your behavior on the site. That means, the more you use the site, the more your matches will improve to your taste.
You can start using Zoosk for free, though you’ll want to upgrade to a paid subscription to start communicating with other members. Get a 6-month membership for $12.49 per month, 3 months for $19.98 per month, or 1 month for $29.95.
Best for: lesbians looking for a committed relationship or marriage
Over 1 million lesbian singles
Recommended age: 35+
Signup time: 25 minutes
Meet someone or get another 6 months free
Innovative mobile app
Match is another one of the biggest dating sites for lesbian singles, with over 1 million members to peruse. It uses a powerful behavioral learning technology to understand exactly what you want from a date. That means it’ll read between the lines, take your search history into consideration, and begin to learn exactly what you like and what you don’t. Then, Match will send you profiles of women that really fit your preferences.
Match also has fun, flirty features like sending winks or buying presents for the cute redhead you spotted in your search results. You can also run a reverse search to see which hot lesbians have been checking you out when you weren't looking. Search using specific tags to get a more accurate match based on things you're interested in from hobbies to movie faves and more.
You can try Match free for 7 days to decide if the site is a good fit for you. After that, a paid membership will cost you $12.99 a month for 12 months, $21.99 a month for 6 months, or $23.99 a month for 3 months. If you haven’t found the one within 6 months, you’ll be given another 6 months free of charge.;
Best for: lesbians looking for educated, career-driven women
82% of members are university graduates
Recommended age: 35+
Signup time: 35 minutes
Receive 3-7 matches daily
Well-designed mobile app
EliteSingles is the premier dating site for professionals, which means it offers lesbians who care about their careers plenty of options. Everything from the search functionality to the dating profile questions are clearly catering to a more career-oriented group of women. For example, the questionnaire will ask things like are you a follower or a leader, and are you good at analyzing problems.
EliteSingles’ personality questionnaire will take you a good half hour or so to fill out. With so much information available, EliteSingles is able to deliver incredibly fitting matches. So, unlike other sites that just send out matches based on a few matched criteria, EliteSingles will get you like-minded women who want what you want too.
You can start using EliteSingles for free. Before you start chatting with other members, you’ll need to pick a paid plan. A 1-month plan costs $99.95, a 3-month plan costs $59.95 a month, and a 6-month plan costs $39.95 a month.
Best for: Finding long-term relationships
- Recommended age: 30+
- Signup time: 25 minutes
- Free basic membership
- Website and mobile app
Plenty of Fish doesn’t let you list yourself as bisexual, which is a deal-breaker for some. However, the site’s reputation, enormous success, and solid numbers of LGBTQ users make it worth looking into if you’re not bi or don’t mind limiting yourself to “woman seeking other women.”
Plenty of Fish offers a chemistry and relationship test that it uses to fuel its matchmaking process, though they may come off as generic especially compared to other, more modern sites out there. But the numbers don’t lie, and PoF’s enormous and diverse user base means you can scroll on your own or tweak your filters and advanced searches, which will probably get your far enough on your own.
For a full-fledged dating site, PoF offers a lot of options with its free version. You can browse profiles and chat with other women, though premium subscriptions do get you more options.
Best for: using your social network as a springboard to romance
- Recommended age: 20+
- Signup time: 25 minutes
- Free basic membership
- Simple mobile app
We all know that the queer dating world is just as prone to scammers, ghosters, and other bad actors as any other. Hinge aims to reduce that with a unique approach to matching that plays off mutual friends.
Though not dedicated solely to lesbian women, Hinge has plenty to offer especially to those who have been burned in the past or are hesitant to meet strangers right off the bat. Hinge uses your Facebook circle to match you with friends of your friends. The idea is to eliminate some of the uncertainty and increase accountability, and judging by its popularity, it seems to be working.
Obviously, your success on Hinge is somewhat dependent on your Facebook circle. If you have lots of LGBTQ friends, it could be an especially useful matchmaker that comes with a higher sense of security and trust than other dating apps. Hinge is same-sex-friendly and free to use, though paid subscriptions yield more matches than the free version and might be worth exploring if the app is to your liking.
7. OK Cupid
Best for: sapiosexuals looking for personality and wit
- Recommended age: 25+
- Signup time: 40 minutes
- Free basic membership
- Website and app
OK Cupid is applauded as one of the more LGBTQ-friendly of the mainstream dating apps. Its popularity in general is, at least in part, due to its edgier marketing tactics that exhibit a true understanding of modern dating. But there’s plenty of substance beneath the hip graphics and head-turning billboards.;
OK Cupid’s sexual and gender options, for one, will likely come as a relief to queer folks who are looking for more accurate ways of representing themselves. The site includes 12 sexual orientations and nearly 2 dozen sexual markers, as well as hundreds of off-beat, yet surprisingly in-tune compatibility questions that fuel its matching algorithms.;
Every match you view on OK Cupid will be given a percentage that describes the likelihood the two of you will have chemistry. Whether or not you give credence to such numbers, you’ll have plenty more to go on as well: OK Cupid offers ample space in profiles for users to describe themselves, with interesting about-me sections and guided prompts to squeeze the most personality out of each user. OK Cupid’s a great way to meet a girl who’s a great conversationalist as well as a great partner.;
8. Compatible Partners
Best for: lesbians looking for a highly compatible partner on a dedicated, LGBT dating site
Over 1 million lesbian singles
Recommended age: 30+
Signup time: around 15 minutes
Free to sign up and view matches
Matches based on high level of compatibility
Handy mobile app
While several LGBT dating sites are focused on singles looking to have fun, Compatible Partners is here for lesbians looking for long-term love. In fact, this super-focused dating service is exclusively for gays and lesbians who want a serious relationship (it’s the LGBT alternative to eharmony.
Compatible Partners is known for its accurate matchmaking abilities, chosen from a pool of over 1 million lesbians from all races, ages, religions and cultures.
Compatible Partners has a long (and we mean long) questionnaire, but you don’t have to fill out everything before you start seeing profiles. Complete the basics, and then start browsing right away. Fill in more as you go along to get even more preference-specific matches.
Compatible Partners allows you to receive suggestions to your inbox for free, but you’ll need to pay for more advanced features like the SecureCall and Guided Communications. The 1-month plan costs $59.95, the 3-month plan costs $39.95 per month, and the 6-month plan costs $29.95 per month.
Best for: meeting women in your immediate vicinity
- Recommended age: 30-50
- Signup time: 10 minutes
- Intuitive, well-designed app
Bumble’s defining feature—that only women can initiate conversations —isn’t quite the game changer if you’re a lesbian looking for other queer women. Sure, both parties can send the first message, rendering Bumble similar to other similar apps. But there are plenty of other things going for it, namely it’s huge user base, smart design, and accessibility.
Bumble acts similar to Tinder in that it pulls up matches closest to you and operates on an easy swipe yes or no model. But the profiles are a little more descriptive, and the user base tends to be a bit older and more mature. It’s still a great app to use if you’re looking for a late-night hookup, though the potential for meeting more serious-minded women is higher than other geo-based apps.
Bumble is free and easy to use, and it takes just minutes to set up a profile and get started. Though sexual orientations aren’t as varied as some other sites, Bumble is same-sex-friendly and includes the option ‘seeking women’ in the preferences bar. Bumble also includes a BFF app for making friends, as well as social and networking tools, though they don’t detract from the main goal of connecting with other singles in your immediate area.
Best for:lesbians over 50 looking for commitment
Recommended age: 50+
Signup time: 25 minutes
10 matches every day
Simple mobile app
If you're tired of wandering around, hearing indecisive women try to find their footing in a lesbian relationship, then OurTime could be the dating site for you. That’s because this popular online dating option caters to the 50+ crowd. Dating lesbians over 50 can alleviate the pitfalls that comes from dating insecure, younger lesbians. There’s a kind of acceptance, confidence, and reliability that comes from maturity, and many women find that downright sexy.
OurTime is professionally designed and run, using state of the art algorithms to create accurate matches and give you an easy online dating experience. Sign up is quick and easy. Once in, you can search profiles manually or rely on the algorithm to deliver daily matches that are suitable to your preferences.;
You can sign up and start browsing profiles for free, but you’ll need a paid plan to communicate with other women. Choose between a 1-month plan that costs $29.95 or a 6-month plan that costs only $17.95 per month.
Finding and Picking a Lesbian Dating Site
Today’s queer women will find spaces in the online dating world not available even 5 years ago, a promising sign that we can only hope continues. Lesbian dating apps, female-centric models of communucation, and increased representation in mainstream dating sites all provide more opportunities for women to meet each other without compromising their safety or individuality.;
Sites like OK Cupid cater to everyone but feature an ever-growing number of sexual orientation options to choose from, while LGBTQ-friendly dating sites and lesbian-centric apps like Her allow women to embrace a closer community and be able to more accurately express who they are and what type of partner or relationship they’re looking for.;
Taking the Leap - Joining a Lesbian Dating Site
Joining a lesbian dating site is extremely easy. Once you have selected your dating site of choice, sign up as a user by providing some vital information. Most dating sites will ask the same general information to start your integration into the site, including your gender, sexual orientation, location, your email address and desired username and password.
After signing up, it’s time to fill out your profile. Add a few pictures that represent what you really look like and who you are, as well some personal information such as a short bio, your interests and hobbies, what you’re looking for in a partner and so on. The more interesting you make your profile, the better your chances are at attracting potential matches.
Lifehacks for Lesbians Looking for Love Online
No matter how great technology becomes, dating will always involve trial, error, and some good old-fashioned awkwardness and second-guessing. Here are some life hacks to make the process as painless as possible so you can find your partner:
Choose Your Match Algorithm
Singles of all sexual orientations should pick their online dating platforms wisely, but it’s especially true for lesbian women. Why? Many lesbian singles have reportedly been inundated by matches of the male persuasion. Decide if and how much this bothers you. If you can tolerate an occasional message from a guy who didn’t bother to read your profile, or if you’re patient with algorithmic mismatches now and then (see the next section for more on this), then by all means, sign up for a general dating site like Match.com or Zoosk, both of which have proven to be hugely successful for same-sex couples.
Set Your Preferences for Women Only
If you identify first and foremost as a lesbian but are open to dating men as well, you should avoid stating your preferences. Listing an interest in any other potential partners will factor into the match algorithm and tip the scales in one direction. This is especially true if you’re on a large, mainstream dating site like Match or OKCupid. On these sites, if you don’t specify your interest in women, you’ll be inundated with messages from men. Again, this is a personal choice, and if you’re equally interested in different types of relationships, you can stay vague on your profile. If your main goal is to meet another woman though, state that clearly so you won’t have to sift through undesirable matches.
Consider Expanding Your Age Preferences
Facebook did an interesting study that analyzed average age differences between couples. In 67% of male-female couples, males were older by an average of 2.4 years. Female-female couples, meanwhile, showed a much more flexible age gap, ranging between 5 and 9 years. The data suggests that lesbian singles are less concerned with age than opposite-sex couples. Think about the age parameters you set on your profile, and consider being more flexible if you’re comfortable with it.
Online dating is becoming more popular and diversified every year, and that’s good news. Citing a 2017 study, PinkNews.com revealed that 65% of same-sex couples who met in 2017 found each other through online dating. The proliferation of lesbian dating sites, as well as the increasingly detailed search tools on mainstream dating sites, means that your options are only increasing. So, don’t compromise. Set your goals and preferences, and don’t budge. Take a cue from the subject of this brutally honest New York Magazine article, which states:
Lesbians Looking for Love, We Got Your Back
No matter your age, race or location, you deserve to have love in your life. With these top-rated dating sites and apps, lesbians all over the world are finally settling down with their special someone. Isn’t it time you found yours, too?