As a love and dating coach, I've worked with many bisexual clients who face difficulties with in-person meetups and online dating apps in our binary society.
Bisexuality involves genuine attraction to more than one gender. Though some may try to force you or your partner into a "straight" or "gay" box, sexuality is fluid, and there's no need to compromise who you are.
If you're dating a bisexual woman, here's how to honor their identity and help them live authentically.
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Misconceptions About Bisexuality
One of the most common myths about bisexuality is that it's just a phase or that it doesn't exist. Of course, this comes as no surprise because our society's binary worldview makes it challenging to grasp sexual fluidity.
But bisexuality is a legitimate orientation—not experimentation or confusion. Myths around it persist, though, due to a lack of visibility and education.
Dating and Outness
Being bisexual can make dating tricky because people often misunderstand what it means. As a former matchmaker, I witnessed many bisexual clients get treated unfairly by dates who made assumptions that they were polyamorous or monogamish, judging them solely based on their sexual orientation.
Bisexuality is also often met with disrespect and confusion; hence, bisexual women are less likely to come out than gay men. But bisexual folks are not looking for anything different than anyone else. They want fulfilling, meaningful relationships based on who they are as people.
So, you need to have an open mind and show compassion when dating a bisexual partner—and anyone else, for that matter. That way, we can create a dating culture where everyone is respected and accepted, no matter their sexuality.
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Fluidness and Representation
Communication involves both verbal and nonverbal cues, so how someone presents themselves is important. This is especially true on dating apps, where some bisexual women feel uncertain about presenting as more feminine or masculine.
One of my female clients, who identified as a tomboy, specifically sought out more traditionally feminine women on dating sites like Zoosk. Bisexual individuals often have more fluid conceptions of gender expression and presentation.
So, an open and affirming dating environment such as LGBTQ+-friendly apps enables them to present authentically while finding compatible matches.
How to Build a Respectful Relationship With a Bisexual Woman
Manage Expectations
When dating a bisexual woman, educate yourself to avoid making assumptions. It's also vital that you don't treat your relationship with a bisexual woman as an automatic gateway to threesomes.
Instead, engage in open discussions about wants, needs, and boundaries. This will empower your bisexual partner to feel heard and build trust.
Address Insecurities
Communicate openly about any insecurities that arise. I once worked with a client who started exploring her bisexuality in her 30s. She wanted to date both men and women, but some lesbian partners were wary because her bisexual identity was new.
If your partner's experiences differ from yours, approach the relationship with patience and an open mind. Whether your partner is newly bisexual or long-established, their identity shapes their life experiences.
The key is cultivating empathy through education, self-awareness, and respectful communication. Approach them with kindness and seek to understand their perspective so you can build an open and caring relationship.
Foster Personal Growth
Dating a bisexual partner can be a tremendous opportunity for personal growth, opening your mind and heart to new perspectives. It inspires you to become more accepting, shedding limiting assumptions and cultivating greater empathy.
The societal impact is uplifting, too, as being in a healthy relationship with mutual care and understanding makes us better humans. And our world needs more everyday kindness, acceptance, and celebration of diversity.
Create Safe Spaces
Inclusive dating platforms like Match have become increasingly popular for validating diverse orientations. They provide options for those interested in non-monogamous or LGBTQ+ partnerships through features like sexual identity options and inclusive language.
Similarly, eharmony allows for various orientations. Robust matching algorithms, effective security measures, and moderation can also contribute to building safer communities. Overall, representation provides empowering spaces for bisexuals to connect.
» Check out these OkCupid alternatives for more dating app options.
Celebrate Your Bi Woman's Identity
Bisexuality is often misunderstood, but every person deserves love. When dating a bisexual woman, make sure to honor your partner's journey without limiting who they can be. Make space for them to feel worthy no matter their choices.
Fully embrace your bisexual partner's identity. Have difficult talks when needed and give unconditional support so they feel accepted. Build trust, vulnerability, and affirmation so they know they're valid.
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