When flirting via text, the key is to be playful yet direct, to make your interest known, and also to give them opportunities to do so. Flirtation is a dance, with each person pushing and pulling at different points.
Here are some ways to make your texts so irresistible your partner will have no choice but to cancel all their plans to come and be with you.
» Looking for flirty singles? Check out our top picks for the best dating sites and apps.
1. Tease Him
Teasing is a surefire way to show interest, especially in the early stages of dating. Gently poke fun at something he always does or says or a quirk he possesses. Just make sure you are teasing them in a way that is clearly joking rather than coming off unhappy or critical!
2. Send "Goodnight" and "Good Morning" Texts
This is a great way to make your interest clear. Who sends these kinds of texts to someone they just see as a friend? It lets a guy you're crushing on know he's on your mind. And if you're already dating, it lets him know he hasn't left your mind.
You can even add a term of endearment, like "good morning, handsome," or "goodnight, sexy," to let him know he's appreciated.
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3. Give Him a Sincere Compliment
Everyone likes compliments, and complimenting a love interest or partner makes your interest clear. While superficial compliments may be common to give and receive on Grindr, many gay men also appreciate compliments regarding their personality, accomplishments, and actions.
Let him know what you see in him that made you want to date him in the first place.
4. Use Exclamation Points
One study found that people view texts as less sincere if they end with a period. Using exclamation points makes it clear that you're excited about the other person and their whereabouts.
Another way to do that, according to the study? Spell words in unconventional ways, like "soooo" or "whatttt?" This lets the other person know that you're engaged in the conversation.
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5. Send Funny Things You Find Online
If you see something that you think will make him laugh, don't hesitate to share it with him. Does he love cats? Send him a funny cat meme you found on Instagram. You've watched The Office reruns together? Send him a clip from the show.
GIFs can also come in handy to make your texts humorous and playful.
6. Use Emojis
Any simple, lackluster text can become spicy and seductive with the addition of a few simple emojis. Some to make use of: the winky face, the face sticking its tongue out, the devil face, the angel face, and the eggplant (if you want to get risqué).
One study found that the emojis that made people most likable in a romantic context were the face throwing a kiss, the smiley face with hearts, and the heart eyes (and the least likable were the poop and angry face emojis, unsurprisingly).
» Check out these flirty dating emojis for inspiration.
7. Share a Fantasy
Now we're getting into the territory of sexting. If that's something you've done before, you already have the foundation to share a fantasy or two, or perhaps even a sexy dream you had.
If you have not yet sexted, you can say something like, "wanna hear a sexy fantasy that crossed my mind recently?" and wait for a positive response before continuing. Once you have the go-ahead, you can start off slow: Describe how the fantasy begins to build up the anticipation, and make him beg to hear more.
8. Let Him Know What You’d Like to Do Later
Another approach to sexting is to create anticipation for what you'd like to do with your partner later. "I can't stop thinking about what I want to do to you when you get home." "I want to ravish you later." Or, to be more forward, "come over now so I can ____ you" (if, of course, you know that ___ is something they enjoy doing).
It'll be 10 times better once you finally get down to it because both of you will have been thinking about it all day.
» Use these tips to be more in the moment during sex.
9. Reminisce on a Past Experience
Everyone likes to feel like they're lots of fun in bed, so one way to start a sexy conversation is to let your partner know how much you enjoyed a past sexual experience with them: "I was just thinking about the other night, and how hot it was when you ____."
Plus, this will lay the groundwork for doing it again; they'll know exactly what you like and how to recreate another favorite experience.
10. Send a Seductive Photo
Tread lightly with this one, obviously—unsolicited dick pics are to be avoided. If you'd like to initiate an NSFW photo exchange, you can start by texting something like, "you've got me all excited... wanna see what that looks like? ;)" or "I took some sexy photos of myself as I got out of the shower this morning. You've got first dibs if you wanna see them :)."
Don't hold back with the emojis!
» Use these confidence secrets to make yourself feel more attractive before snapping those pics.
Don't have anyone to flirt over text with? You can get on the best gay dating sites and these Grindr alternatives or search for partners on more general apps and sites like eharmony and OurTime.
Hundreds of people are waiting for your charming texts and playful emojis. Just make sure you are going at a pace you both feel comfortable with, and your interest is reciprocated—and that you compliment your seductive texts with rich and fulfilling in-person interactions.
» Make your dating profile stand out using these tips.