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Top 10 Signs Your Psychic is Full of Sh*t

Sarah Pritzker
Top 10 Signs Your Psychic is Full of Sh*t
Online psychics are a dime a dozen these days. Just do a quick Google search, and you’ll be bombarded with thousands of potential readers ready to tell you all about your past, present, and future. They’ll say things like:

“You have a tremendous weight on your shoulder right now.”

“Your heart is yearning for something.”

“You have a burning question that’s bothering you.”

Resonates with you? That’s because this is the kind of generic crap that fake psychics love to spew to hook in gullible truth seekers and get them to pay for their fictitious trade. Not to say real psychics don’t exist, or that there aren’t people who truly have the gift of sensing more than the average Joe. For example, there are plenty of trustworthy online psychic reading sites to choose from. But lots of wannabe clairvoyants out there are bogus, plain and simple.

Great. So some psychics are the real deal, and others are just scamming you out of your month’s paycheck. How the hell are you supposed to know the difference? Well, some of these smooth criminals play their parts insidiously well, fooling all but the most astute observers. But there are plenty of frauds who make some signature moves that give themselves away. You can call them out on these because they keep doing the same thing, playing on people’s need for answers and a desire to learn the truth. 

Keep your eyes peeled for these ten fool-proof signs that the psychic sitting across the table from you is full of a whole lot more than their lunch:

Liar Liar Pants on Fire Proof #1: Could you be any vaguer?!

You’ve lost a loved one. You’ve suffered heartbreak. You will have to make a big decision in the near future. Really? You mean you could tell that someone, somewhere, at some time, died? Well, now I’m convinced. Seriously. 

Fake psychic readings are loaded with statements like these. They keep things as vague as possible because that ensures that they’ll be relevant to anyone. After all, who hasn’t known someone who died, or had their heartbroken, or been faced with a tough choice (chocolate or vanilla?) Don’t fall for this #1 BS tactic that fakers try to pull off on the innocent.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire Proof #2: Wild claims about your past lives

You were a prominent member of society in your past life. Perhaps you were George Washington, Cleopatra, or Leonardo DaVinci. Yes, I can see it clearly now. You did great things when you were alive. But you’re alive right now?

I don’t care if you were Jesus Christ, how the hell are you going to corroborate that claim? Of course you can’t. And that’s just what phonies are basing it on. They make wild claims of grand characters linked to your past. And since we all crave to be something great, we cling to this claim like yoga pants to Rhianna’s backside. Anyone making grand statements about your past life is doing it to create a false sense of importance.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire Proof #3: Painting the perfect picture

The ultimate people-pleasers, fake psychics will sometimes use this alluring tactic to prove their worth. After all, if you are happy with the experience, you’re more likely to come back again for another positive-picture high the next time they’re feeling down. 

But life isn’t all roses and unicorns. Sometimes life sucks; that’s just reality. A real psychic won’t paint your life as perfect just to get your business. They’ll be honest about the future and what it entails, no matter how unpleasant.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire Proof #4: Grilling you

Did you recently come out of a relationship? Are you getting over a sickness? Is there someone in your family suffering financially? The list can go on and on if you’re sitting with a bogus psychic. That’s because they’re trying to piece together a full picture of your past or present life. They’ll use this as a springboard to make more accurate “predictions” about your future.

Gifted psychics won’t need to grill you.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire Proof #5: Asking for more money

Your conversation with your ‘psychic’ may go like this…

Psychic: I see some troubling news coming in the near future.

You:       Oh, no! What is it?

Psychic: It’s vague but coming clearer…

You:       Tell me! Tell me!

Psychic: I’m sorry, our session is over. But I think I can clarify the image if you care to sit for another session.

You:       Of course! Just tell me what you see.

Ever had this happen to you before? It’s one of the most common tactics counterfeit psychics use to get you to part with your money. They bait you with a compelling statement and then reel you in with a cliffhanger. Who wouldn’t pay more to extend the session to get the answers they’re desperate for? That’s just messed up.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire Proof #6: The slow build

The slow build is a sly tactic used by many false truth-sayers. They’ll make a vague statement that’s open-ended. And then they’ll take their time finishing the sentence. Why? It’s simple. They’re stalling, fishing for clues, waiting for you to offer more information or confirm something they’re saying. They read your body language, the way you react to the statement to see if it was on the mark or if they should change course. 

Alternatively, they may opt to quickly shoot out a bunch of information at one time. They’ll notice which statement you respond to and hone in on that idea, developing it further. Since the phony has tossed out so many statements simultaneously, they’re almost guaranteed to hit on something accurate. And most people won’t even pay attention to the inaccurate statements because they’ll be fixating on the one that hit the mark.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire Proof #7: Scaring the sh*t out of you

You might hear one or more of these…

“Oh! I see a terrible event coming your way.”

“You’re walking a precarious path, and it may lead you to a dark place.”

“Someone close to you will betray you in the near future.”

Whatever the specifics, one thing is for sure. If they’re pretending to divine something, you can bet the psychic will say you’ll need guidance to avoid those dangers in your future. And who exactly will give that guidance? None other than your friendly, familiar psychic, of course. Yes, perils surround you. But don’t worry. I’ll be here to protect you and guide you through the danger. One word: bullshit.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire Proof #8: Offering ‘additional services’

Got a hex on you? Demons haunting your bedroom? Bad omen hanging over your shoulders? We can dispel these nefarious beings for the low, low price of...You get the point. False prophets and others of their ilk will happily provide additional services, such as removing a curse or breaking a jinx for the right price. This is particularly insidious because if you feel like you’ve been cursed, you are even more likely to fork over cash to get rid of it. Taking advantage of someone in a fragile emotional state is messed up on a whole other level.

Liar Liar Pants on Fire Proof #9: You have to come back

Similar to extending the session, this is just a tactic to get you to spend more money. Some fake psychics will give you an interesting reading. Towards the end of the session, as they’re wrapping things up, they’ll drop the bomb. It’ll be something intriguing, something that makes you think, something you’ll want to explore further. And then they’ll tell you something to the effect of, “You’ll need to come back to get the closure/answer/clarity you really need.” Or worse, they may bring spirituality, religion, or bad omens into the mix, saying you’ll have to come back so the negative spirits don’t cling to you. Sheesh. 

Liar Liar Pants on Fire Proof #10: They make bold claims or give definitives

Real psychics are intuitive. They get a sense of people and of possible future events. But real psychics know that the future is fluid. It’s not set in stone. There are no guarantees, and they won’t make any. Phonies will make big claims or say that something will definitely happen in the future. This is an obvious red flag. Hear something like this? Run for the hills.

I See Great Things in Your Future…

That is if you listen out for these telltale signs of fake psychic prowess. Before you shell out any real cash, do a little homework. Pay attention to their body language and wordage. Are they constantly saying things like “honestly” or “truthfully”? Are they fidgeting or do they appear nervous? It’s also helpful to pay attention to user reviews and psychic profiles. Real psychics will offer accurate, relevant, and constructive readings. Fake ones will be vague, dramatic, and overly enthusiastic, whether positive or the negative. 

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Sarah Pritzker
Sarah Pritzker writes for and is a content writer with years of experience and a keen interest in the vast world of online consumer products. She enjoys helping readers make sense of the options on the market in a variety of fields.