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10 Proven Strategies for Finding Real Love Online

Morgan Mandriota
Young woman sits on her bed trying to find love online on her computer
There are countless success stories out there of couples who met each other online and have been living happily ever after.

But finding love isn’t as easy as downloading a dating app and matching with the love of your life. You can increase your odds of achieving that goal, though, by following certain rules and guidelines.

Here are our top ten strategies for finding real love online. 

1. Know your intentions

We all have different intentions when we download a dating app. Some people want something purely physical and casual, whereas others are ready to build a long-term, loving relationship with someone.

No matter what your intention is, you’re more likely to find what you’re looking for if you know what it is you’re actually looking for. If you don’t know what you want, how are you supposed to get it?

Reflect on your intentions and determine what type of partner and relationship you’re seeking before installing any apps. 

2. Spend time on the apps

Finding love online is totally possible but the process can be time-consuming, especially if you’re using platforms that only let you swipe through one person at a time.

Set the time aside to spend some time on the apps. If your schedule allows it, put in at least a couple of hours each week. The more effort you put in to get yourself out there, the higher your odds will be of finding a great match. You’ll also increase the number of matches you get, which will help you increase your chances of meeting someone great, too. 

3. Use as many dating apps as possible

Different people are on different dating apps. The same folks who are on Tinder aren’t necessarily going to be on Match.com.

So use as many online dating services as you can to score better chances of meeting someone new. Research different apps that might have who and what you’re looking for and rotate between them all.

Bonus: There are plenty of free apps so you don’t even need to spend a dollar to widen your reach and meet more people. 

4. Message people

I think we’re all guilty of matching someone then never initiating the conversation. (No? Just me?) Next thing you know, they’re sitting in your list of matches for months (unless you’re willing to take a shot and send a first message after all that time has passed).

A lot of people are shy and avoid sending the first message. Be confident and bold and send those messages.

Reach out to the people who you’d like to talk to and get to know them for as long as the conversation lasts. If nothing else comes of it, at least you’ll get some practice testing out opening lines and engaging in small talk. But you never know what could happen just from messaging first. 

5. Embrace meeting IRL

Remember that we’re still in a pandemic, so we need to be careful about how many people we’re meeting and under which circumstances we meet them. But that doesn’t mean you need to avoid in-person dates at all costs.

After all, you can’t properly gauge your chemistry and compatibility with someone just from talking online. There’s so much more to a connection that you can only pick up from being together in real life.

When you’re ready, consider asking the people you like out for a cup of coffee, a socially distanced walk, or an outdoor dinner date. 

6. Be patient and take things slowly

You can’t put a timeline on true love. You might have to wander through the dark for a while until you finally find your light at the end of the tunnel. But when you do, it’ll be worth the wait.

Remind yourself that dating is a waiting game and a mix of good odds and timing. There’s no rush. Let things organically play out without pressure. Try to enjoy the process, have patience, and take things one step at a time

7. Communicate honestly

There’s no need to play games if you’re looking for a genuine connection. Skip the lies and all of that other nonsense.

Opening up and being honest will help you align with people who share similar values and outlooks on life. So lean into honest conversations. State your intentions. Share your concerns, hesitations, and worries. Spill your wants, needs, dreams, and goals. Create a profile with a bio and photos that authentically represent who you are.

This will all ultimately help you to find the deep, meaningful relationship you’re looking for. 

8. Be yourself

Be authentically and unapologetically yourself. You obviously want to come across as your best self at the start of a relationship, but don’t fake who you are for the sake of finding love.

You want your partner to see the real you. You want a partner who’s going to love and accept you for you. If you put on a front or act fake, then you’re not only leading on your dates but you’re not being honest with yourself. You’re basically setting yourself up for failure. Plus, you’ll be able to establish more comfortable relationships when you both show up as your true selves. 

9. Have fun

Above all else, remember to have fun. Dating is supposed to be enjoyable. Sure, there will be challenges that you face along the way, but it can be great to meet new people and explore different connections.

If you put too much stress on yourself or the situation, it’ll only lead to stress and frustration. Have a good time during the process, both online and on in-person dates. 

10. Don’t give up hope

Rejection, dead-end conversations and bad dates are all possible. But whatever you do, don’t give up hope. There are so many people out there looking for someone like you, and online dating is a great way to connect with them.

Bottom line

It might be stressful and frustrating at times, especially if you feel like you’ve seen everybody within your range and nothing seems to be working out for you. But you never know who might pop up on your phone next. You might just find the love of your life when you least expect it.

Morgan Mandriota
Morgan Mandriota writes for Top10.com. Morgan is a freelance sex and wellness writer with bylines at Betches, Health.com, and BuzzFeed. Her insight has been quoted in Cosmopolitan, Tinder, The New York Times, and more. When Morgan isn't writing about orgasms, dating struggles, or CBD, she loves traveling, eating tacos, and training in Brazilian jiu-jitsu.