You quite literally don’t know anything about the person besides what they choose to share on their profile, and now you have to make the first move by sending an engaging first message. Will they reply? Or will your attempt fall flat? Nobody knows! And THAT is the game of online dating, my friends.
Do you usually struggle to come up with fun and flirty one liners on online dating sites? Here’s our guide for people who want to know how to start a conversation when dating online. First, we’ll start off with the classic, safe openers that will score you a good first impression. Then, we’ll progress to the riskier, more creative lines that “may” get a response… or get you blocked.
When To Play It Safe or Play A Game Of Risk
So when is it smart to stick to something safe, and when is it worth taking a calculated risk? This totally depends on how you feel the person might receive your message. Check their profile for clues. Do they have fun content on their profile and seem like someone who would enjoy a raunchy joke or two? If they have silly pictures, consider taking the leap. If they don’t offer much to work with and seem a bit timid or shy, maybe skip the dark humor and save it for someone else.
7 Types of Pickup Lines to Send as a First Message
Now that we’ve got that disclaimer out of the way, let’s move on to some of the many different types of first messages you can send to someone on a dating app.
1. The classic “hey”
Is your match’s profile pretty bland with nothing in their bio to use as a jumping-off point? Don’t worry. “Hi, how are you?” is the simplest, most traditional opening line that you can send on a dating app when all else fails. Why? Because you can’t really go wrong with it. “Hey” and “hi” are super neutral openers that basically always warrant a reply. Just expect to receive an equally as dry “Hey! I’m doing well, thanks. How are you?” in return.
2. Thoughtful questions
The quickest way to most hearts is to be thoughtful, kind, and considerate. Ask what the best part of their day is, or ask a question based on a photo they shared or something in their bio. Are you into astrology? Why not try asking them what their sign is and seeing if you’re compatible? If you like their answer, you can pull a (corny) line about your fate being written in the stars, but that’s super cheesy so be careful.
3. Play with food (not literally)
Everybody loves food. If someone says they don’t, then they’re obviously lying (and nobody wants to date a liar). Use this fact to your advantage by sending a first message that’s somehow related to food. “Pancakes or waffles?” is a surefire way to start a debate (and show their true colors). “Do you like bread?” is a no-fail option, because who doesn’t like bread? Or, you can go for a punny food joke, like “do you like mexican food? Because I want to wrap you up and call you my baerrito.” Cringy? Maybe a little bit. Cute and worth the shot? We think so.
4. Cheesy pickup lines
Speaking of food, CORNy pickup lines are another solid first message idea. If they can’t appreciate a lame pickup line, then they probably have a poor sense of humor, and you don’t need that type of negativity in your life. Chances are, though, that they’ll at least entertain the message. From there, you can progress onto a more solid conversation. “If we were triangles, then you’d be aCUTE” and “if I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together” are 2 cheesy options to choose from, but the list is basically endless. The choice is yours.
Now, it’s time to get a little risky!
5. Funny jokes
If you sense that the person you matched with can take a joke, and even spit one back at you, then send something funny. If you’re on a casual platform like Tinder or Bumble, throw a sarcastic curveball like “so when are we getting married?” (because you’re definitely not getting married anytime soon). “Can I have your Hulu password?” is another one of my newest favorites that almost always gets a response. Looking for a more timid, yet still funny opening line? “Are you a structure used by beavers to block water flow because DAM!” should do the trick.
6. Compliment them and ask them on a date
Looking for something serious? No need to play games. Jump straight to the point and tell your match how attractive you think they are and let them know that you want to take them out on a date sooner than later. If you’re ready to blindly throw caution to the wind, then toss them a straight-forward “hey, beautiful” or “hi, handsome” and ask if they want to grab a cup of coffee, meet for lunch, or join you for dinner at some point throughout the upcoming week. Being attracted to someone and wanting to date them is the main reason why you originally matched with them anyway, right?
7. Get sexual
Warning: This tip is not for the faint of heart. If a casual hookup is all you’re after, then why not get straight to the point with a sexual one-liner? “You know, there’s no non-sexual way to eat a banana” is along the tamer lines. However, a quick and dirty “DTF?” will also get the job done. Keep in mind that if the person you matched with isn’t into a friends-with-benefits situation and they want something more serious, you might get yourself blocked. So prepare to ruin your chance with this person… or get lucky!
Whatever you decide to send, make sure to outweigh the potential benefits or risks associated with your message of choice. You don’t want to sabotage any chance you have with someone you might really like. May the online dating odds be ever in your favor!