Yes, it’s possible to have a happy, healthy relationship with someone you met on a dating app who’s much younger or older than you. But whether you’re the older or younger partner in this relationship, it’s probably a good idea to keep in mind these 10 pros and cons to older women dating younger men.
1. Pro: The sex can be fantastic
According to a Today article that interviewed assistant professor of medicine at the University of Pittsburgh Dr. Holly N. Thomas, women’s sex lives get better with age. They become more comfortable with their bodies, they have higher self-confidence, and they have better communication skills — all qualities that play into having better sex.
On the other hand, young men typically have longer stamina and endurance in bed. Combined, the two of you could have an incredible, mind-blowing sex life.
But beware: This could be temporary. One study indicates vaginal dryness and other sexual health issues may arise during menopause.
2. Con: People might be judgmental
Because of your noticeable age gap, you might be on the receiving end of judgmental stares and comments. This will especially be true when bringing your partner home to meet your family. If the older-woman partner has kids, they may question everyone’s intentions. And a younger man bringing home an older woman to meet his parents might be awkward, too.
If you’re happy in your relationship, that’s what matters most. It’s your relationship … not theirs. If you can overcome the potential judgment that you’ll face from dating someone so many years apart from you, then you’ll be able to live free of shame or guilt from others who think it’s their business to tell you how to live your life.
3. Pro: There are dating apps designed for these relationships
If you’re an older woman looking to date younger men, or vice versa, you can find them in no time. Hop on a dating site catered specifically to these demographics and meet somebody in your desired age group sooner than later.
You can try your luck with senior dating sites like SilverSingles meant for older singles and those who want to date them. Otherwise, you can download more popular dating apps like eharmony or Match that let you adjust your age preference to whatever you want from 18 to 70.
4. Con: There will be noticeable generational differences
There’s no denying that there will be obvious differences between an older woman and a younger man in all areas of life. This could be simple things like liking different types of music or larger issues like the older woman wanting to retire down South while the younger partner wants to live out their prime career years in a bustling city.
Of course, every couple is different, and navigating this challenge is possible. But it’s important to remember that age isn’t just a number sometimes.
5. Pro: You can learn from each other
Have you ever had a conversation with someone much older than you? They have a wealth of wisdom and knowledge that’s fascinating to listen to. Older people are inspiring and full of life experience that could benefit you in your youth. Who knows? You may just learn a thing or two about life and how to live fully based on their personal experience and lessons learned along the way. If nothing else, entertaining storytellers always make for interesting partners.
Older women dating younger men can learn a lot, too. Times have changed, and it could be refreshing to hear new perspectives from someone who grew up in the age of technology and dating apps.
6. Con: Older women may play motherly roles
Your significant other is supposed to be your equal. Dating a woman significantly older than you may lead to unequal power dynamics, sometimes accidentally or unconsciously. It may be her natural instinct to take on a maternal role with someone younger like you. This obviously isn’t ideal when it comes to romantic relationships when your goal is to respect each other as equals in control of their own lives.
All women are different, and some older women may respect your age and autonomy to do what you will. But beware that there’s a chance she may overstep your boundaries and take on a caregiver role, whether you like it or not.
7. Pro: There will be less drama
Younger people tend to get caught up in petty drama with friends, partners, and family, whereas older people typically don’t care to engage with meaningless things like this. If you’re not into the drama that comes along with dating younger women, then dating a woman who’s years older than you might be more up your alley. They’ll be less likely to have you listen to stories of embarrassing things their friends did or have drunk nights out that they won’t remember in the morning. They’re too mature for that — plus, they’ve probably already been through that stuff years ago.
8. Con: Kids are probably off the table
Biological clocks are real, especially for women. This means that if you want to have kids, then you may have limited time or no time to do it, depending on whether or not she’s in menopause or open to having children through adoption or other means. Or you’ll be dealing with a woman who already has kids and doesn’t want more.
If you want to have kids of your own, you may want to reconsider dating older partners. In this case, it might be smarter for you to date someone who’s still fertile and able to bear children.
9. Pro: Age gap relationships can be hot and taboo
Not all men who fall for older women have mommy issues, and not all mature women who date young men do it to be called a “cougar.” Sometimes, you might just want a more mature partner or to have fun with someone with more spontaneity and life in them.
People with significant age gaps are attracted to each other all of the time for different reasons. Whatever your reason, whether you have one or not, dating someone who’s much older or younger than you could be a mysterious, fun, and exciting experience.
10. Con: You might have different values or goals
Depending on your exact age difference and what your lifestyles are like, you could share very different values and goals that don’t align with each other. If your goal is to have a short-term, casual relationship, this could work out well. But if you want to build a long-term relationship with this person, misaligned views of life and the world could stand as a big problem between you.
Some older women might be divorced and not looking to remarry, for example. So it might be a good idea to figure out whether you're both interested in the same things in life.
Navigating age-gap relationships
Age-gap relationships can be as hot as they seem. They could also go wrong for many different reasons. But if you find someone who aligns well with your needs and wants, you could have a happy, healthy relationship with someone much younger or older than you. As long as you’re both aware of the potential pros and cons of older women dating younger men, then all the power to you! Go chase the cougar or cougar hunter of your dreams.